Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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