..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
Randomize
