Why are handjobs necessary in class?
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
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