So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
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