margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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