I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
I use my feet as sexual weapons
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
Randomize
