through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Randomize
