i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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