Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
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