I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
Randomize
