I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Randomize
