i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
Randomize
