Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
organizing the empties. That sober.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
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