as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
