1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
no you cant smoke seaweed
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Randomize
