Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
Randomize
