There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
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