I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
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