this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
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