Buhtt sex?
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
Randomize
