hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
Randomize
