craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
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