Heybabeimwearingurpanties
I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
