i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Randomize
