my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
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