It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Randomize
