I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
Randomize
