Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Randomize
