Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
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