Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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