You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
