STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
