he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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