I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Randomize
