Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Randomize
