Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
i think im in europe. pls send help
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
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