She said her name was "party"
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
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