we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
