at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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