We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
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