that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
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