I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
Randomize
