Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
Randomize
