): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
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