Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
