Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Randomize
