So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
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