Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
Just puked most of my soul out..
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