the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
Randomize
