it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize
