are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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