is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
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