Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
Randomize
